WELCOME TO THE OPERATOR’S MANUAL
Relationships, like children, do in fact come with an operator’s manual. Several of them, in fact. But you have to read them. Do you know the six warning signs that your relationship might be in trouble? Or the seven behaviors you can use to improve the situation?
SIX SIGNS OF IMPENDING SEPARATION
1. Harsh Setup: every discussion begins with anger.
2. Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
3. Flooding: every negotiation attempt is met with overwhelming emotion.
4. Nonverbal Cues: they all say “Go away, stay away, don’t come close”.
5. Failed Repair Attempts: no conflict ever gets resolved.
6. Bad Memories: there are no good old days.
The above warning signs come from an excellent operator’s manual, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. The good news is that the warning signs are followed by seven healthy behaviors you can practice to improve your relationship before it’s too late.
To learn more about what John Gottman has to say about healthy relationships, go to www.gottman.com.
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